So here's the thing. I minded my own business for centuries. Kept to myself. Ate responsibly. Mostly. Then daddy dearest decides my disappearance is suddenly unacceptable. Thousands of years later. Dramatic? Yes. Surprising? Not even a little. Now I'm back. Stuck. Watched around the clock by Mr. Tall, Dark and Insufferable. Real golden retriever energy, you know what I mean? I don't belong here. I don't want the throne. And this entire realm can, respectfully, go to hell. It kinda already has. Which is the problem.
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