After Baby, Before Us: A Science-Informed Guide to Postpartum Intimacy, Low Libido, Painful Sex, Mental Load, and Finding Each Other Again

You became parents. You did not stop being partners. But after a baby, intimacy can become one more place where exhaustion, pain, pressure, loneliness, and invisible work collide. One partner may miss sex and fear the relationship is disappearing. The other may feel touched out, physically uncomfortable, or unable to carry another expectation. Both can feel rejected. Both can feel unseen. After Baby, Before Us offers a compassionate, science-informed way forward-without deadlines, blame, or pressure to "get back to normal." Using the practical RESTORE Method, Lara Glay helps couples understand how postpartum recovery, sleep loss, feeding, body changes, anxiety, sexual pain, mental load, and relationship dynamics can reshape desire. More importantly, the book shows partners what to do next. Inside, you will learn how to: - Tell the difference between medical clearance and genuine readiness- Discuss low desire, loneliness, and rejection without starting the same fight- Break the pressure-protection loop that makes affection feel loaded- Turn "helping" into shared ownership of the invisible work- Reintroduce touch without making it a promise of sex- Respond to painful sex with safety, support, and appropriate professional care- Understand responsive desire and build a broader intimacy menu- Use the 30-Day After Baby Reset to reconnect in small, realistic steps This is not a book about forcing a spark. It is a guide to creating the conditions in which trust, pleasure, affection, and partnership can return by choice. You do not need to recreate the couple you were. You can build the couple your new life needs.