Alienated Affeckshuns: And other inflammatory short stories

History is written by the winners. Religion is written by the faithful. Noir is written by guys in trench coats. And cats, apparently, are running the government.In Alienated Affeckshuns and Other Inflammatory Short Stories, Bill Schmalfeldt cheerfully wanders into places where good judgment might suggest he stay outside.An outgoing president reveals that the real genius behind his administration was an invisible Maine Coon named Mr. Floofy Butt. A lifelong bigot suffers a traumatic brain injury and awakens with a horrifying new affliction: empathy. Job finally gets tired of God's questions and starts asking a few of his own. Abraham Lincoln's friends try to help him plan a pleasant evening at the theater. Judas Iscariot takes Matthew, Mark, Luke and John to court. A Milwaukee private eye discovers that organized crime is no match for bad judgment, a good right knee, and a woman from Shorewood who knows kung fu.And in the title story, a 1940 Massachusetts courtroom must determine whether Brutus Ragdish unlawfully alienated the affeckshuns of Henry Fimbleman's beloved woomin-a legal proceeding involving adultery, questionable paternity, unexpected revelations, and one hand placed upon a poop deck under highly disputed circumstances.Irreverent, profane, occasionally tender, and deeply suspicious of anyone who takes himself too seriously, Alienated Affeckshuns is a collection about history, religion, prejudice, love, politics, crime, cats, and the infinite human capacity to make an absolute mess of things.Seven stories. Several centuries. Numerous bad decisions.No sacred cow is entirely safe.