Boaters Behaving Badly: A Funny Field Guide to Sailors, Powerboaters, and the Free Show at Fuel Dock - Boating Gift Book for Men, Boat Owners Dads

Every marina has a moment when the talking stops. A forty-two-footer is coming in sideways, and six people at the fuel dock quietly set down their sandwiches. Docking is a spectator sport. Nobody moves to help. Somebody films. Out on open water a sailor and a powerboater can share an entire lake without incident. Put them on the same dock and you have two religions competing for one cleat. The sailor will explain that his approach was elegant, three corrections notwithstanding. The powerboater will explain how much horsepower it would have taken to do it properly. Both men were right. Obviously. Always. Inside, the species you already know by sight: - Wind Purist - owns an engine, considers using it a character flaw- Horsepower Guy - tells you the number before he tells you his name- Fender Guy - eleven fenders, adjusted at anchor, where nothing can hit him- Channel 16 Narrator - calls his own approach like a play-by-play man- Dock Coach - hands in pockets, advice for everybody, boat for nobodyTheir excuses. Their maneuvers. Their inner monologue. And the one sentence that turns a bent stanchion into a moral victory. This is not a manual. Nobody in here wants to improve. Give it to a sailor who insists his last approach was intentional, a powerboater who has never met a dock he didn't apologize to, a retiring coworker who already owns nine boat hooks, or the yacht club nemesis you love just enough to embarrass. Good for Father's Day, a retirement send-off, a stocking, or no occasion at all beyond spite. Warning: you will never call a clean landing luck again. Your marina is going to notice.