Dating at Fifty: A Survivor’s Guide to Modern Romance

Dating at Fifty: A Survivor's Guide to Modern Romance is what happens when a reasonably successful, mostly functional man finds himself single after fifty and decides the best solution is to download dating apps.Several of them.Because apparently one bad decision at a time wasn't enough.What follows is a brutally funny, sarcastic, and occasionally inappropriate trip through the modern dating world-where profile pictures may be ten years old, "separated" has seventeen different definitions, a first date can unexpectedly include children, dogs, ex-husbands, emotional support cocktails, or enough red flags to shut down an interstate.Armed with optimism, whiskey, a questionable ability to ignore obvious warning signs, and the stubborn belief that the next woman might actually be normal, the author dives into Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Match, Facebook Dating, blind dates, long-distance relationships, disastrous dinners, unexpected hookups, and situations no fifty-year-old man could possibly have prepared for.Along the way there are nurses, teachers, social workers, government employees, single moms, women who look nothing like their profile pictures, women who absolutely do, dogs with boundary issues, awkward bedroom encounters, spectacular misunderstandings, friendships that somehow survived the wreckage, and enough alcohol to make several bartenders recurring characters.But underneath all the sarcasm is something surprisingly real.Starting over after fifty is fucking hard.You've got history. They've got history. Everybody has baggage, grown children, exes, careers, scars, routines, opinions, medications, favorite pillows, and very specific ideas about what temperature the thermostat should be set at.And somehow you're supposed to combine all of that over drinks on a Tuesday night and determine whether you've just met your soulmate or someone who will eventually steal your sweatshirt and block you on Facebook.This isn't a relationship manual written by an expert.It's a survival guide written by someone who somehow lived through the field research.Names have been changed. Certain details have been left out. Feelings may still be hurt.But the stories?Unfortunately, those are very real.So pour yourself a drink, lower your expectations, and enjoy the ride.Because dating after fifty proves one important thing: You are never too old to fall in love.You are also never too old to look across a restaurant table and think: What the actual fuck have I gotten myself into?