You cannot go forward without going back.Maybe it was loud. Maybe somebody left. Maybe nothing happened at all that you could ever point to - and still something did not arrive.However the pain got in, it left the same thing behind: a life that keeps producing something you did not order, and a quiet certainty that the problem must be you.It was never you. You arrived into a life whose terms had been set by people whose own lives had set terms for them. Good Fruit walks the whole of it - the ground, the root, the up-rooting, the new seeds, the fruit - until the life in your hands is one you are making instead of one you are getting through.There is breakthrough on this road. It may come as a morning you will remember, or as the day you notice you are living somewhere you did not use to live. Both are real. Both can be grown.Good fruit was never a feeling. It is what finally grows when you stop managing the wound and go down to the root of it. Somewhere down there is a version of your life you stopped expecting. You did not lose it. You buried it, because that was the only way to survive where you were. It is still there. Go and get it.
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