How Not to Kill a Store-Bought Houseplant: Light, water, pots, and keep-or-move plan for the plants you already brought home

Light, water, pots, and a keep-or-move plan for the plants you already brought home.You already bought it. The job is not a greenhouse. The job is the pothos, snake plant, zz, succulent, peace lily, or pothos-lookalike sitting on the counter in a grocery sleeve. This is not a species encyclopedia, not a 30-day apartment move-in, and not a weekday watering calendar. It is one light-window / finger-water / stay-in-nursery-pot runbook for the six plants people actually bring home from a grocery, Home Depot, or Trader Joe's.Short paragraphs. Cards you can keep under the saucer. Composite US rooms, not portraits. The plant in front of you wins.What you actually get: * Six-plant roster: light window, water test, leave-in-nursery-pot yes or no * Finger-knuckle watering card (not a weekday calendar) * Yellow-leaf fork: water, light, transplant shock, or just a new leaf * Nursery-pot vs cachepot card. Dump the pretty cup. * 4-week keep / move-to-other-window / give-away filter * What not to buy next (the plant that needs a cabinet you do not own) * First 48 hours: sleeve off, no same-day repot, no fertilizer * Heat, AC, weekends, pets, dust, and fungus gnats as a watering reportThis book is not botanical diagnosis, pest-clinic advice, or veterinary advice. It will not turn a north studio into a conservatory. It will not tell you to mist a succulent or water a snake plant every Wednesday. If a page conflicts with the plant you can see, the plant wins.Take the sleeve off. Empty the saucer. Do not start with a new pot.Forthcoming tools from THE DRAIN SAUCER PRESS: a pocket knuckle card, and a fridge-door six-plant roster.