How to Train a Wild Puppy Dog Named Manley

How to train a wild puppy dog named, Manley, is a work of fiction. A coming of age story, hardcore romance novel, Jamaican Yardie-style. Pack full of wry humor, metaphoric terms, ambiguity, and innuendos for your reading pleasure. Note: though some aspects of the story may come across as unsophisticated and unrefined, bear in mind that this story is from the viewpoint of a "dirty doggish kind of a man," and what it was that featured in making him into such. …Some excerpt from several passages in the book… When she spoke, she was undoing the buttons on my shirt, I gazed at the firm and full round breast there just bouncing and begging, was just about to reach out and take hold and a gluttonous bite out of-em too but then I recalled that she was nursing, it's probably why they were looking so damn luscious and inviting but I wouldn't take anything away from how beautiful the woman looked. The upper half of me, the sensible half: my head, my heart – to a lesser extent, and my mind told me to protest, not to be drawn into this dragnet, this trap. But my lower half, my over-actively sensual half wasn't cooperating, he just wanted to hop on the horse and go a-giddy-upping down the tracks, guess which half won out in the end? Yep, you got it. This dirty old puppy dog just hops on and went on riding along down the dead-end track. This was going to become a regular routine over the next little while for us. Every time that the kids go off to their daddy's place, I hop on over to their place, where me… and… Mrs, Mrs. Jones, or was it Mrs. K? As in, Mrs. Kentise, has done got this red hot chili pepper-like thing going on. Until... Libby came into the picture and spoiled everything, or did she? The Millers wanted to do things to me, one wanted to grind me, the other wanted to grind me up, like mincemeat… …Out of the blue, she called. The raindrops were pitter-pattering on the window sills, what calming effects it had on me, it gets me every single time. It could as well rain every day for me, for all I cared, if it was only for this, (and a few other reasons.) But then came the interruption. “Hello,” I answered the ringing telephone. “What are you doing?” She asked. “I'm planting tulips,” I told her. “Planting tulips? In this weather?” “Yes, it's the best weather, the best time and the best season for that didn't you know?” “For planting tulips?” “Yes, for planting tulips, as in, not one but two lips.” She hung up. Never did call back. I couldn't suppress the laughter, no matter how hard I tried. It was raining there too I was sure, there where she was, and it was obviously having the very same sort of effects on her mood, she needed company, the right kind of company. That was why she’d called me up, sorry Missie, those days are long gone… …I still did have some unfinished business with Ms. Brodbendt, which needs some tending to. On the Walk to the bus stop, I was singing away: I shot the Sherriff, but I did not shoot... “What?” Bubbles Butted in, he wanted to know, “you did not shoot what? Ms. Brodbendt's furry old pussycat? You probably should have,” he said. Cute, very cute... …I had a bottle of bourbon in the cupboard so I went and fetched it. “We did plan on getting ourselves stoned tonight.” I said, “and since we never did manage to pull it off at the bar, we might as well just get it done in-house, there is nothing to stop us doing that, is there?” “I don't suppose there is,” she said, so I popped it open. Pouring one for her and one for me, we sat up in bed with our backs resting up against the headrails and supported by pillows as we sip the liquor. She wasn't into it though, she was obviously still very disturbed… So I whispered many sweet nonsensical things into her ears, trying to take her mind off of the many current concerns, or was it? I told her about the things which I wanted to do. Describing in detail the things I would do to her. Things she would want me to do to her. Things she would beg me to do to her, if and when she'd let me, and then... She let me. So I… I kissed her there, and then there, and yep, there too, and then... We fused into each other, and melted.