I'M NOT THINKING ANYMORE: Anxiety, obsession, and depression: the story of a man who stopped trusting his own mind

It was nine in the evening. I was meditating on the couch, trying to improve my life. Half an hour later, I was in the emergency room. Four words had moved through my mind: "I'm not thinking anymore." > > That was the beginning of a war nobody else could see. > Inside are the things men rarely talk about: - intrusive thoughts, rituals, and the need to perform certain actions "correctly"; - appearing normal while fighting fear and depression in silence; - feeling inferior, fearing rejection, and struggling with self-worth; - the effects of antidepressants on desire, arousal, and sexuality; - treatment, medication changes, setbacks, and the slow return to everyday life; - the darkest thought I experienced-and what it actually meant. You can work, train, laugh, and say "I'm fine" while quietly checking every thought to make sure you are still yourself. > Feeling lost does not mean you will be lost forever. For anyone fighting quietly-and for the people who want to understand but do not know what to say.