Poopy Pants: A Building Code for the Oldest Horror in House

Written under the voice of retired architect Rutherford "Ruddy" Tallant, Poopy Pants: A Building Code for the Oldest Horror in the House explores the universal, unspoken horror of public bodily embarrassment through the lens of architectural design and human history. The book frames gastrointestinal accidents not as character flaws, but as biological inevitabilities weaponized by bad architecture-specifically single-egress bottlenecks, inadequate fixture counts, and a lack of privacy partitions. Blending razor-sharp satire with historical deep dives (from Roman sewers and Tudor "gong farmers" to the Battle of Agincourt and Apollo 10), Tallant examines how human society built an elaborate infrastructure of shame. Moving into quiet, deeply moving territory regarding aging and dignity, the narrative concludes with a practical counter-protocol: breaking the monster's power by ensuring no one ever makes the walk alone.