Promises, Potholes and Other Political Emergencies: A Field Guide to Saying Nothing, Looking Concerned, Getting Elected

Politics does not have to make sense. In fact, it often works better when it does not.Promises, Potholes and Other Political Emergencies is the satirical survival guide to local politics: a world of sacred bar charts, carefully managed concern and consultations launched shortly after the decision has already been made.Inside, you will learn how to:translate what you actually think into what you are allowed to sayanswer a difficult question without accidentally answering itadopt the correct facial expression beside a potholesurvive a residents' meeting involving twelve people, four empty chairs and a dying tea urnapologise without admitting responsibilityturn ten people down the pub into a statistically significant election surveyYou will meet the campaign volunteer who knows where the banners are, the adviser responsible for controlling your face on social media, and the colleague who will eventually remove you from the group chat and rename it NOT DAVE.You will also discover why every belief must be deeply held, preferably since childhood; why a leaflet that says nothing is still technically a form of communication; and what really happens once you have actually won.Written with the particular authority of someone who has sat through the meeting, printed the leaflets and heard the phrase "with respect" used as a declaration of war, this is a sharp, deadpan and uncomfortably recognisable satire of modern political life.Perfect for anyone who isn't interested in politics, as well as councillors, candidates, campaigners, public-sector survivors, and anyone who has ever looked at politics and thought:Surely I could not do any worse.