zombies in my bed

This is a picture book to illustrate one of my childhood traumas. Abusers twist reality until children believe they deserve the pain, that silence keeps loved ones safe, that telling will only bring more punishment. I believed it all - that I was bad, that no one would believe me, that I would lose the people I love if I spoke the truth. The blame, however, was never mine. It belongs to those who hurt me, to those who failed to protect me, to those that forced their shame on my heart. When I did confide in adults, I was met with disbelief: "That sounds like something from a movie." Or the most crushing question of all: "Did that really happen to you?" When people said these things to me I would just change the subject in fear and eventually never say anything to anyone. The risk of telling became greater than the pain of silence.