Don't Be a HO for Valentine's Day! the Only Thing Getting Popped Should Champagne Cork

The florist is booked. The jeweler is busy. The maître d' has a waiting list. And the man you're dating has suddenly developed strong philosophical objections to Valentine's Day. How fascinating.Grandma would like to discuss this.Don't Be a HO HO HO for Valentine's Day! is what happens when a wealthy, old-school grandmother with eighty years of standards meets modern dating and discovers situationships, bare-minimum boyfriends, "low-maintenance" women, mysterious scheduling conflicts, and men who somehow started believing they were the prize.Grandma remembers things differently. The man did the courting. The woman did the choosing. If he behaved badly, you simply never saw him again. No committee meeting. No forensic analysis of a text message. No three-hour brunch devoted to deciding what "hey" meant.Told in savage rhyming verse with glamorous illustrations, this unapologetically funny gift book takes on modern romance, disappearing standards, weak excuses, and the increasingly creative ways women talk themselves into accepting less.Perfect for the best friend, sister, daughter, or granddaughter whose dating life could use fewer excuses, better judgment, and one very opinionated grandmother with absolutely no interest in being polite.Give it for Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day, or immediately after she says, "But he's actually really sweet."Grandma has notes. She has no plans to be polite.Classy illustrations. Questionable language. Extremely high standards.