The Burton and Jazz Chronicles: Annual Staff Performance Review (2020-2026)

"The garbage is not a waste bin; it is a suggestion box. And I have many suggestions." - Burton, CEOEver feel like your cat doesn't just rule the roost, but actually runs your life like a demanding corporate dictator? Welcome to the Dalhousie Branch Headquarters, located high on the 14th floor, where the corporate ladder is made of carpeted pillars and the legal tender is paid exclusively in wet food gravy.In Burton and Jazz Chronicles: Annual Staff Performance Reviews, retired educator and cozy mystery author Sarah Champion shares the hilarious, highly classified files of her life as an underpaid "Senior Kibble Technician." Spanning 2020 to 2026, this witty collection of incident reports, strategic field observations, and exhausted staff reflections documents a hilarious struggle for domestic sovereignty.Inside this performance audit, you'll discover the inner workings of a high-altitude feline monopoly: - Meet the Executive Board: Burton, a 15-pound "Garbage Can CEO" black cat who rules by sheer mass, and Jazz, a 7.5-pound grey-and-white "Picky Princess COO" who enforces a strict 4:30 AM breakfast mandate using precision needle-point claw stimulus.- The Logistical Triumphs & Corporate Outages: Read the true case files behind The Three-Minute Migration, The Keyboard Blockade, the legendary Day the Grocery Bag Fought Back, and the catastrophic accidental engagement of the Power Button of Absolute Silence.- The Official Glossary of Executive Terms: Learn the true translation of everyday chaos, from the grueling 28-Flight Cardio Fire Drill to the mathematically precise layout requirements of the Belly Rub Protocol.Perfect for fans of Simon's Cat, I Could Pee on This, or anyone who has ever had their manuscript "ghostwritten" by a wandering paw, this book is a heartwarming and laugh-out-loud tribute to the brilliant, demanding, and deeply loved cats who really run the show.

Pagina's: 150, Paperback, Independently published